Monday, April 30, 2012

Effective Discipline

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Prov. 22:6). This verse, along with others, teaches the necessity of proper teaching of children. The are to be brought up "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:1-4). While many parents recognize their duty of training their children, some of them have a difficult time in effectively training or disciplining their children. Some parents throw up their hands in despair over even small children, normal children, saying, "I just can't do anything with him!"

This article, by no means a proclamation that it's author can solve all problems, is intended to be a "how to" article, setting forth some practical principles that are, in my judgment, basic and essential to effective discipline. Please examine these thoughts carefully, and if they can help you, use them to the developing of good lives for your children.

1. Discipline Begins In Infancy: -- Waiting till a child is 4 or more years old to begin some of the basics of discipline creates severe problems.

2. Discipline Must Be Impartial: -- Consider the problems caused by Jacob's apparent favoritism among his sons (Gen. 37). While one child may have a more appealing manner, parents must not allow such to excuse his misbehavior, while punishing other children for the same misdeed.

3. Effective Discipline Must Be Consistent: -- This seems to be one of the greatest weaknesses with some parents. It is confusing to a child's sense of obedience to punish him one day for doing what he is allowed to do on other days. Our "no's" and "yes'es" should be as consistent as we can make them. Parents who fluctuate between severity and laxity with their children will have problems with their behavior.

4. Effective Discipline Should Contain Incentives: -- Though it is not always possible or necessary, children should be given an understanding, whenever possible, of the values and goals of doing assigned tasks or behaving in a prescribed manner. This gives them something to work for, a desirable thing to accomplish.

5. Effective Discipline Must Be Authoritative: -- When a parent gives a command, he should expect proper compliance, and the child should clearly understand that he is expected to obey. When parents command and allow children to ignore those commands, they are actually teaching their children that obedience is not necessary. This applies to minor instructions like "Pick up your shoes," as well as to weightier matters. Parents, mean what you say, and back it up with the corrective measures necessary to enforce it.

6. Effective Discipline Must Begin With Self: -- Parents who do not discipline themselves are in no position to effectively train their children. How can one teach his children the ruinous nature of bad habits while he indulges in them himself? How can he teach his children obedience to the law when he habitually violates laws? Self-control is essential for parents to effectively teach their children.

7. Effective Discipline Must Be Based On Good Judgment And Common Sense: -- Do not the Scriptures stress wisdom, discretion, and reasonableness? Technical know-how must be tempered and used with sensibility. Extremism begets extreme behavior. If one wants his children to behave calmly, to have level dispositions, he must not be explosive and violent himself.

8. Love Is The Bond Of Perfectness: -- All the efforts of discipline should be motivated by a healthy, godly love, as children are taught the love of God and man. Thus they should learn that obedience is a demonstration of love, just as proper discipline is a demonstration of love.

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